Tag Archives: love yourself


As an avid Instagram user, I always try to keep up with the latest trends. I don’t always participate, but as someone who loves social media, and uses it daily both in my life and career, I like to know what’s popular. Social media is always evolving and changing, and it’s important to me to keep up with those changes.

One weekly hashtag that I’ve had an interest in has been #TransformationTuesday. Search for this particular hashtag and you will have thousands of photos in front of you, of people who have made incredible weight loss transformations. Whether it be from a weight loss pill company flaunting the results of their products, or the hard work of someone over a couple of years to reach their goal weight, these are truly incredible and inspirational transformations.


Someday, I’d love to be the person flaunting my huge weight loss. It would be a great feeling to have a #TransformationTuesday like that. But, since I’m nowhere close to that, it made me think long and hard about what #TransformationTuesday means.

Is it about weight loss? Or is it a representation of a new you?

My own personal #TransformationTuesday – it represents a new me.

At 18 years old, I was 50 pounds lighter then I currently am. I was an avid horseback rider who spent most of her high school years living at the barn, where I was the happiest. The four-legged creatures were my favorite. I was a freshman in college. I had a core group of friends from home. I was a homebody. I was shy. I didn’t handle meeting new people well. I had never been in a serious relationship. And I was ashamed of my body. Even though, looking back now, I would love to be back at that size.

Fast forward 10 years later. I’m close to 50 lbs heavier. I don’t ride nearly as often as I would like, but I still get to the barn at least once a week, nor am I as active I should be. I’ve graduated with my Bachelor’s and Master’s degree. I’m engaged to the love of my life. I grew out of my shyness. I’m not afraid to speak up and express what’s on my mind. I enjoy meeting new people. I have a career I love. And I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Yes, I don’t like my body. But I’ve learned to accept it and know that the only one who can change it is me. But the difference is, I’m happy. I may be overweight and not in good shape, but I’m happy.

10562506_10100146174202975_5170983196039126486_oOne of our engagement photos done by the talented Jaclyne Beaupre Photography

So what’s my transformation? I may have gained 50 lbs, but during that time, I found a sense of happiness and well-being that I never fully allowed myself to have.

I fully believe that we are never done ‘transforming’ ourselves. In a world that moves fast to move forward, we are always in need of some form of transformation to stay relevant. My next transformation will be working on getting to a body I’m 100% comfortable with. Not a weight; a body.

And from there, my next transformation will be continuing to live, love and learn and enjoy every day to the fullest. While not a normal transformation, continuing to open our lives to those three things every day will help up to transform as human beings.

So let’s change the traditional #TransformationTuesday from a weight-loss inspired hashtag to one that shows how our happiness has transformed.

 What defines your #TransformationTuesday?

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Fighting the Scale

I’ve been fighting the scale my entire life. We’ve argued, we’ve celebrated, we’ve cried, we’ve made up, but our favorite thing to do is fight.

I’ve relied on that number glowing back at me (or being pointed at) for as long as I can remember. I’ve never had a good relationship with the scale. I rarely like what it had to tell me. In fact, 9 times out of 10, I was so upset after getting off the scale my day was ruined (that might be a bit dramatic…)

Even going to a doctor’s appointment has become a battle. The first thing I’m asked when I visit my doctor is ‘Can we get a weight for you?’ Unless I’m going for my annual physical, the answer is no. You don’t need to get a weight for me if I’m there for a sinus infection.

This time last year, I was convinced my scale was lying to me. I saw a number looking back at me that I swore I would never see again. I was angry. I was mad. I was depressed. I was upset. I was in disbelief.

The number was wrong. The scale was WRONG. I tried to reason with it. This can’t be true.

But it was true. I was in denial. I had added nearly 40 more pounds to a frame that had managed to get down to a healthy weight just a couple of years prior. I stopped talking to my scale. We weren’t friends anymore.

Here we are a year later. I’ve worked out (not as consistently as I should have), I’ve cleaned up my diet (not as much as I should..but I will!). And I’m determined (more so than ever). But most importantly, I’m learning to not fight my scale.

Our relationship has improved. I no longer blame my scale for the number looking back at me. After all, it’s just the messenger. I know my scale is not ‘off’ and is registering the wrong weight (it’s digital). I know my scale is not out to sabotage me and ruin my life (Actually, the jury is still out on that one…)

What I do know?
I am the only one responsible for my weight. And I’m learning to love me for me. All 190 pounds of me. And instead of focusing on how awful I may feel, I’m focusing on exercise and eating healthy. And I know my body, and the scale, will love that.

In the end, I know I will lose the weight. I know, I’ll get fit and healthy and I know it’s not going to be an easy road, but it will be damn worth it in the end.

What have I learned?

  • Focus on building a good relationship with your scale. If you can’t, throw it out. You will drive yourself crazy if you constantly focus on what it’s telling you.

  • If you can’t part with it, don’t rely on it. Step on it once a week at most. Even less is better.

  • Judge your body by how you feel, and how your clothes fit.

And when you do step on the scale, you’ll no longer feel the need to fight it.