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The downfall of being an eternal optimist? Everyone always assumes you’re going to be happy and upbeat.
But in truth, sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I see life as a realist. Sometimes even a pessimist.
I have always called myself an eternal optimist. I see life through rose-colored glasses.
But if I’m having a bad day, I don’t want to fake happy. I want people to know that, for once, the eternal optimist isn’t seeing the sunny side.
It’s hard being an eternal optimist because people always assume that you’re going to write about something positive, when in reality, sometimes I just want to be negative and sarcastic.
Sometimes, I don’t want to be an eternal optimist at all. Sometimes I just want to be a realist. Being honest and sincere, without a burst of peppy filtered in.
I’ll always define myself as an eternal optimist, but sometimes, the eternal optimist just needs a day to see life through clear glasses. Just to keep things in perspective.
Do you ever feel this way?
For those who know me, they will tell you I love life.
Granted, when I’m in a horrendous mood, I see the bad in everything. Thankfully for everyone around me, my goal is to see the sunny side of life. An eternal optimist. I like to pretend that there aren’t horrible people out there, or that terrible events occur simple because one country despises another. I just want everyone to be happy. Perhaps this is just me being naive, but I’m going to crawl back into my happy bubble now and let you make your own decision.
Yesterday, as a drove home from work (I have a 40 minute commute on beautiful back roads), I blasted Sugarland and just thought about life. The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is upon us and like many, I remember exactly what I was doing. The next year that followed, was the year that I really found my voice and began writing heavily in a journal. I did this for the next 5 years. I filled about 14 journals with all of my thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams and even my horrible days and awful thoughts. As I drove, I began to think about what I wanted from my life and where I want to be.
And then I remembered…
I just want to be able to write again. And not just blog, but literally write. I’ve been writing a novel since I was 19. Maybe it’s time to complete it.
And creativity isn’t complete without a nice bottle of wine! Perhaps it’s time to crack a bottle open and get back to work. Maybe I’ll finally finish before I turn 30.