Tag Archives: writing

Plans, Diagnosis and Patience

We’re going to cover a few different areas today – mainly because it will probably be the best way to organize my thoughts. I have a lot running through my head and I’m just trying to get them all down in one place.

Plans

For a while now, I’ve really wanted to blog. I started this blog as a means to express myself after graduating from graduate school in 2011. It’s progressed over the last couple of years, but I also neglected it on numerous occasions. It went from being a writing outlet, to a place to showcase my newly developed photography business, to a place to showcase my venture into healthy living. Numerous blogs have inspired me along the way, most have been healthy living bloggers, and I aspired to have a blog like them. But after speaking with a few of them, the number one thing they all told me was, ‘Just Be You’. I realized that I was trying to turn this blog into something it wasn’t. I’m not a healthy living blogger, but a person on a quest to a healthy lifestyle.

So my new journey, is to bring this blog back to it’s roots. Back to being a place where I write, I post a few photos here and there and just be me. What you won’t see here: Pictures of every meal I eat, discussion about my day job other than that I am a Marketing professional, and healthy living advice. It’s not me. What you will see and read is truly me. I’m a quirky, life-loving twenty-something trying to make the most out of my life with my wonderful fiance, family and friends.

Would I love for this blog to be the next big thing? Sure. It would be a dream come true. I would love to be Jen Lancaster and become a best-selling author from my blogs. Am I okay if this doesn’t happen? Of course I am. I just want this to be my creative outlet and a place where I can write.

Diagnosis

Switching to my quest for a healthy lifestyle for a moment. I’ve chronicled, albeit a bit slowly here, my journey for a healthy lifestyle. I had started another blog and quickly stopped using it when I remembered ‘I’m not a healthy living blogger’. This blog once again became my place to write. About three months ago, the fiance and I started ‘Insanity‘. It was probably one of the hardest things I have ever done workout wise, but a great experience. By week 6, I was down 10 lbs and several inches and feeling great. Then I started with a pretty nasty pain in my left foot. By Labor Day weekend, I could barely walk. After a trip to my primary care and an x-ray (which came up negative), I was on a week of rest and off to the podiatrist. The next week, he diagnosed me with metatarsalgia, prescribed me some pads for my f00t and an anti-inflammatory and told me to rest for a week. Less than a week later, I was back at the podiatrist because the pain moved from the bottom of my foot, to the top and it was swollen and discolored. I was ordered home with an aircast and an MRI for a stress fracture.

It’s been just over a week in the boot, and with two x-rays and an MRI under my belt, it looks like the diagnosis is bone edema/stress reaction (swelling of the bone) in my navicular bone. I find out next Wednesday what the course of treatment will be and how long I can expect to be in the boot for, but let’s just say, I’m not looking forward to any long term boot action. I’m ready to get back out and start training to run again, ride horses and take long walks. But instead, I’m resting, icing and trying to determine a workout plan that means no pressure on my foot.

Patience

I am SO FAR from a patient person. I’m a go-go-go person and thrive off my busy lifestyle. I’ve been forced to sit and relax with this injury and it’s testing my patience. I want to be enjoying the beautiful fall weather not forced to be icing my foot whenever I’m home.

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And yes, that’s an ace bandage wrapping my foot. There is ice underneath it and it is so much easier to do it this way.

It’s been just about 3 weeks since I’ve been able to exercise. I went through the total depressed and angry stage where I stuffed my face and ate my feelings. But now, I’m back to eating healthy and trying to look at the positive side. I’m still trying to focus on the long-term and what I can’t wait to do when the boot is off, but for now, I’m being patient and listening to my body. My foot will tell me when it’s ready to exercise again and that I’m confident of.

What’s the worst sports-related injury you’ve had? How did you overcome it?

I run.

After being away from the blogging world for nearly 6 weeks, I’m back. Hopefully on a more normal schedule. After attempting to run 2 blogs (3 if you count the photography business as well), I started to get overwhelmed and realized that there just wasn’t enough time in the day to do that. Trying to figure out content for each blog was nearly impossible and it had to stop. So as of today, my ‘health’ blog is officially done. I’m coming home to the blog that started it all. It’s all about me and my crazy life, and I couldn’t want anything more.

I’ll call it my ‘life blog with a health twist’ since my current goal is to get healthy.

Ever since the Boston Marathon Bombings a week and a half ago, I’ve felt the need to write. Whenever something big happens, I blog about it. I was started to blog when there was something momentous instead of blogging for the love of it. So instead of writing, I started running. There are enough posts out there about it. In all honesty, I don’t have the words to describe the unthinkable, horrific tragedy that happened so close to home; in the city that I love. I may not have ever lived in Boston, but I consider myself a Bostonian. I was glued to the reports every day for a week. I lived and breathed what happened, like everyone else, but I couldn’t write about it. There were, and still aren’t, any words to describe this event.

So, I ran. As horrible as the tragedy was, it gave me a new form of motivation, like many people. I wanted to run. I wanted to do something that I knew some of these people may not do for a long time. I wanted to run for them. I wanted to run for Boston.

So here I am, in the middle of  Week 2 of Couch to 5K, feeling good about myself. I’m a terrible, slow, runner, but I’m doing it. I started somewhere and I’m going to finish. I’m not going to stop this time. In 7 more weeks, I will be a runner. And that is what is getting me through. Every time I get a cramp in my side or my lungs start to burn, I remind myself that I can do this. I remind myself not to give up. And I push through. I remind myself that I’m not running for me; but running for Boston.

Now, I will probably never run the Boston Marathon (never say never, right?), but in my mind, just being able to accomplish a 5K would be one of the best accomplishments in my life thus far.  Our plan is to aim for a Fall 5K – that way once I’m doing with the training program (which will be right around my birthday in June), we can keep working on the running and speed part. But who knows, as I get closer, I may just feel the need to sign up for some form a race just to give a go!

“I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.”

I find myself some days wondering what my life would be like had I gone a different path. What if I went to art school and majored in photography? Where would I be now? What if I had taken off more time in between undergrad and graduate school? Would I have gone back?

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I find myself having this banter with myself sometimes all too often. Not because I’m unhappy in the Marketing/Social Media field (I absolutely love it), but because I always find myself asking “What if?”

It may seem crazy. Maybe I’m having a ‘quarter-life crisis’. Even though I’m only 26, I feel like I have so many dreams and goals left to accomplish. And don’t say “You’re still so young! You have plenty of time.”

My life is currently like a high-speed Acela train and I’m just along for the ride. Each week seems to go by faster than the last. Before we know it, another year has gone by. Also, thanks Mayans for the awesome doomsday prank. Clearly 12/21/12 is just another day in the books; not the end of the world.

If I look back on my ‘life plan’ from when I was …. 18-ish?…. I would say I’m on the right track.

18-22: Undergraduate Degree (not much more to say here)
22-23: Take a year off and experience ‘life’ aka work as much as possible and attempt to ‘find myself’
23-25: Graduate School/find a full-time job with health benefits
25: Graduate from Masters program/Find a new career in new career path
26-30: Work/buy a house/get engaged/get married/get a dog/etc.
(I know…. I’m still 26, but I can check off ‘work’ and ‘get engaged’ off my list!)

I was blessed enough to also add, ‘Begin own business’ to that list for the 25-26 year (THANK YOU EVERYONE!), but now I have other things to add. Not just to add, but fit into my ‘life plan’.

Many of you may know (or not know), that I have been attempting to write a novel since I was 19 (guess I should probably add that in the Undergraduate degree section). In the 26-year, I managed to complete the first, albeit VERY ROUGH, draft. In the next six months, I plan to have the next version complete. By the end of 2013, I want to have it in its final form. I want to be able to start shopping it around, possibly self-publish, and be able to say ‘I am a published author.’

Call me a dreamer. But I’m about to make my dream, a reality. After all, I did it with my photography business; why not with a novel too?

Have you ever chased a dream until you achieved it? If so, what was it?

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Newtown, CT – Wrapping My Brain Around Such a Horrific Tragedy

I am utterly shocked that I haven’t blogged for “pleasure” since the summer. I mean, blogging my photo shoots and such over at erynephotography is still for pleasure, but I haven’t blogged my thoughts and feelings in quite sometime. I guess now is as good a time as any.

I am not going to update you on my life in this post; that isn’t what this blog is about. When I started it, it was strictly to blog thoughts, feelings, observances and such, it quickly became a way to express my photography (which I am sure there will still be a bit in here, just not photo shoots). And then I went dark unless you continued to follow my photo shoots on the new site.

But I am back. And what has brought me back to the blogosphere is not necessarily as a good thing.

Newtown-CT

Newtown, Connecticut. It will never again be just a small town in Connecticut, but will forever more be known as the town where an absolutely horrific massacre occurred just days before Christmas. Just like everyone else in the country, I was sickened by the horror that was unfolding before my eyes. Unfortunately, social media becomes a blessing and a curse in cases like this. While it’s great to get constant updates, you must also contend with untrue facts and even more evident, having something so awful constantly in front of your face.

That night, I couldn’t stand to watch the news. Not because I didn’t want to listen to everything unfolding, but because I couldn’t bear to watch the images of those children and their teachers running from the school with their eyes shut, I couldn’t bear to see another picture of a grieving parent, child or law enforcement officer. The images were some of the most painful I have seen in my existence; quite possibly up there with 9/11. Despite not being able to watch it, I mourned for those families. Not just for the ones who lost a loved one that day, but also for those who survived because the wounds they suffered that day will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

I’m trying very hard to walk the line here between ranting/preaching and purely expressing my own grief to this horrible event. I am not going to compare it to any other mass shooting because quite honestly, you can’t. When else in the history of the US has a gunmen walked into an elementary school for a reason the authorities have yet to determine and murdered children? I am pretty sure the answer is never.

Just in 2012 alone we witnessed a shooting at a movie theater, a mall and now an elementary school. All places where joy, entertainment and a sense of escape and youthfulness come into play.

But I digress, enough preaching. The day after Newtown, I was at the barn, teaching my adorable kids riding lessons. And I made sure to praise each of them and high five them and enjoy each of their individual stories, jokes and laughter. And we never discussed the events that happened the day before. It was not necessary. We all knew and we just smiled and gave those extra hugs and high fives. It made all of us feel a tiny bit better.

So to Newtown; my deepest sympathy and condolences to everyone affected by this horrific tragedy. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

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Wine and Creativity Go Hand in Hand

For those who know me, they will tell you I love life.

Granted, when I’m in a horrendous mood, I see the bad in everything. Thankfully for everyone around me, my goal is to see the sunny side of life. An eternal optimist.  I like to pretend that there aren’t horrible people out there, or that terrible events occur simple because one country despises another. I just want everyone to be happy. Perhaps this is just me being naive, but I’m going to crawl back into my happy bubble now and let you make your own decision.

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Yesterday, as a drove home from work (I have a 40 minute commute on beautiful back roads), I blasted Sugarland and just thought about life. The 10 year anniversary of 9/11 is upon us and like many, I remember exactly what I was doing. The next year that followed, was the year that I really found my voice and began writing heavily in a journal. I did this for the next 5 years. I filled about 14 journals with all of my thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams and even my horrible days and awful thoughts. As I drove, I began to think about what I wanted from my life and where I want to be.

And then I remembered…

I just want to be able to write again. And not just blog, but literally write. I’ve been writing a novel since I was 19. Maybe it’s time to complete it.

And creativity isn’t complete without a nice bottle of wine! Perhaps it’s time to crack a bottle open and get back to work. Maybe I’ll finally finish before I turn 30.

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